A day like any other, but calmer. But not really. Cuz Mirena.

Today started out surprisingly well. I woke to the baby jumping on me and yelling for her sister. After several attempts to get her back to sleep so I could get (PLEASE) 5 more minutes, I succumbed.
Now we are having breakfast.

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She made a beautiful garden.

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She was just happy.

All was well in Monkeeville. There was general mayhem, which is normal for us.

AND THEN. IT HIT ME. Like a ton of evil little demons. A panic attack. Not a full blown panic attack, but it was coming. I could tell. Those little green anxious demons were dancing in my gut. So as quickly and efficiently as I could I packed the kids up and took them to my moms.
She took one look at me and knew I wasn’t ok. We brainstormed. We made phone calls. We made arrangements.

By the time I got to the hospital I thought I was having a heart attack. My left arm and hand were tingling. I felt like I had a tiny person standing on my chest. I wanted to cry. My hands were shaking. My stomach was upset.

They immediately gave me an EKG which came back normal. I ended up sitting for almost 3 hours in a hallway until a room opened up.

Meanwhile I hadn’t eaten since 8am and was STARVING. So my guy brought me pizza. And root beer.

Finally I got into a room. They drew blood. I’m getting fluids. They gave me meds. The meds kinda worked. But those little green anxiety demons I mentioned earlier? They’re regrouping. I can feel them.
So I figured I’d write to you. Maybe this could take my mind off of this for a bit.

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Eventually I spoke to someone in the crisis unit. She agreed that I didn’t need to be admitted and that (HOPEFULLY) this will pass in time as soon as my hormones regulate.

By the time I got out of there I was tired, cranky, and the anxiety demons were back.

This blows. And this is only the first day I’ve had the damn thing out. Please someone tell me this will pass quickly and I will be able to function again?

 

But I can’t express enough how grateful I am for my IRL friends and family and my internet friends and family checking in on me, sending me virtual hugs and love and peaceful energy.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. You people rock my socks.

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Tracey
    Aug 27, 2012 @ 05:23:36

    Yes. I read your blog. Usually around 3-4 am while I’m up with a teething cranky baby. I get anxiety all the time. I now take a beta blocker to try (key word) to keep my heart rate at an even keel. Stress triggers mine. Usually I stop what I’m doing and go outside. Walk around a bit till it passes. I get dizzy and hot. Very hot I feel like I have a lump in my throat and my heart races so fast. It’s the worst!!! I get this overwhelming feeling of fear. Hang in there although they strike whenever you will learn to deal with them and it will get better. I took anti anxiety meds for a while but I just learned how to deal with it. The beta blocker does help some with the skipped beats. I see a cardiologyst on a regular basis. All my test came out normal soooooo they say it’s stress. Take a deep breath try to relax and you’ll get it !!

    Reply

    • alitlmonkee
      Sep 06, 2012 @ 14:02:36

      That sucks that you’re going through it too. I try to focus on slowing my pulse, much like your beta blocker does, but it’s really hard with the kids. Glad your heart is ok. Hang in there, we’ll get through this.

      Reply

  2. downeastsmurfette
    Aug 28, 2012 @ 21:30:27

    The panic attacks suck. I get them, Joe gets them to the point that we end up in the hospital regularly because of his heart issues, I find that going outside and regrouping sometimes help, tho with two little ones its hard to do at times. I hope they pass by quickly and things get back to normal soon.

    Reply

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