Babbling away, trying to remain positive.

I don’t know where to begin. I’m afraid my blog is all over the place. Then again, so is my mind, so I suppose it’s quite reflective of my thought process yet perhaps hard to follow. 

Some days are good, some days are less than that. But every day is a blessing, right?

I have several drafts about several different topics that I had intended to write about, yet I find myself typing nothing of importance. Random thoughts, for the world to read. 

I can say this: I have been working hard every day to be better than the day before. Some days I succeed, some days I do not. Whatever kind of day it has been, as long as there were no major injuries and we go to bed having eaten well and laughed some, I’ve not been a failure. Despite what my brain tries to convince me of. 

This PPD business is a total bitch.  I’m SO OVER the intrusive thoughts, the lethargy, the mood swings, the panic attacks, the feelings of inadequacy, the constant mindfuck of it all. It’s terrible. If you’ve never been there, consider yourself lucky. If you’re stuck in the boggy recesses of a horribly depressed mind, I feel your pain. I know it. And I’m sorry. It can be a slow road to recovery. They tell me this illness can be overcome. I have to believe that. I have to KNOW that. I draw strength from the many women I speak with who are going through the same struggles.

Things are getting better. They will continue to get better.

Today I am grateful. SO GRATEFUL. That Superstorm that ravaged NY and NJ? The shores that were destroyed? Those are the beaches I grew up on. The town next to the one I grew up in was almost completely underwater. The town next to the one I live in now was almost completely underwater. My family and I were spared. I have friends and extended family that were not. I am grateful. And I am doing my best to help the people who need it. I can only imagine what they are going through. It will be a long, slow recovery. But there will be a recovery. I will do whatever I can to help. Many others are doing the same. 

Perhaps this was less of a babble about how I’m trying to remain positive and more of a story about how I am hopeful and AM being positive. It’s all I can do right now. And that’s all I have. 






7 Comments (+add yours?)

    Nov 08, 2012 @ 22:38:54

    Just got in & read your blog. Want to send this b4 my head hits the pillow. Are u taking an anti-depressant? My doc told me it’s ok to double the amount of vitamin B I take (it’s water soluble) – studies show that when taken w/anti-depressants, it helps a lot. Client taking Deplin, which he looked up – folate/folic acid, 7.5-15 mg, which the normal dose is 1 mg. So whether you take that or double up on your vitamin B (which it is one of them), it should help. Pre-natal vitamins? Hmmm…another client nursing her 10 month old & still takes them. Says it helps her a lot. Call me crazy, doc said I’d notice a difference in a few wks but I have to admit, 2 days & I’m feeling more positive & energetic – mind over matter? Don’t care, as long as I’m functioning at a more “normal” level. It’s safe & non-prescription. Yipee!! Look into it Li! X0X0! Hang in there – looks like your writing brought you to a good place – Nice!!!
    Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®


    • alitlmonkee
      Nov 08, 2012 @ 22:50:54

      I am taking LOADS of B vitamins, prenatals, DHA and Omegas, a healthy dose of D and using Essential Oils and acupuncture all in conjunction with what my dr prescribes, counseling, and support groups. Whatever it takes to be better!


  2. Theek, the Laotian Commotion
    Nov 09, 2012 @ 03:42:25

    You’re awesome 🙂


  3. Linda Knust
    Nov 09, 2012 @ 08:10:52

    I love you little mama! And I know you will be just fine.


  4. rhondaej
    Nov 09, 2012 @ 22:05:33

    Your positive outlook in the face of so much destruction around you and your own personal struggles is amazing! Those of us down here who have seen the same destruction and struggles around us feel your pain. Ain’t had a baby, so can’t help you much there, but I cheer you on almost daily! Let us know how we can help! Hang in there, little momma!


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