A day like any other, but calmer. But not really. Cuz Mirena.

Today started out surprisingly well. I woke to the baby jumping on me and yelling for her sister. After several attempts to get her back to sleep so I could get (PLEASE) 5 more minutes, I succumbed.
Now we are having breakfast.

She made a beautiful garden.

She was just happy.

All was well in Monkeeville. There was general mayhem, which is normal for us.

AND THEN. IT HIT ME. Like a ton of evil little demons. A panic attack. Not a full blown panic attack, but it was coming. I could tell. Those little green anxious demons were dancing in my gut. So as quickly and efficiently as I could I packed the kids up and took them to my moms.
She took one look at me and knew I wasn’t ok. We brainstormed. We made phone calls. We made arrangements.

By the time I got to the hospital I thought I was having a heart attack. My left arm and hand were tingling. I felt like I had a tiny person standing on my chest. I wanted to cry. My hands were shaking. My stomach was upset.

They immediately gave me an EKG which came back normal. I ended up sitting for almost 3 hours in a hallway until a room opened up.

Meanwhile I hadn’t eaten since 8am and was STARVING. So my guy brought me pizza. And root beer.

Finally I got into a room. They drew blood. I’m getting fluids. They gave me meds. The meds kinda worked. But those little green anxiety demons I mentioned earlier? They’re regrouping. I can feel them.
So I figured I’d write to you. Maybe this could take my mind off of this for a bit.

 

 

Eventually I spoke to someone in the crisis unit. She agreed that I didn’t need to be admitted and that (HOPEFULLY) this will pass in time as soon as my hormones regulate.

By the time I got out of there I was tired, cranky, and the anxiety demons were back.

This blows. And this is only the first day I’ve had the damn thing out. Please someone tell me this will pass quickly and I will be able to function again?

 

But I can’t express enough how grateful I am for my IRL friends and family and my internet friends and family checking in on me, sending me virtual hugs and love and peaceful energy.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. You people rock my socks.

What’s been happening

I realize it’s been a while since my last post. Life was pretty busy for a while.

We found out that the condo we were renting sold in a cash deal, so we had to find a place to live very quickly.

Then the deal fell through. We didn’t have to move, our place was going off the market.

Then the kids and I got hand, foot and mouth disease, aka COOTIES FROM HELL.

Then there was another cash offer on our condo. We had to move again. And find a place. In June. At the Jersey Shore. With a small budget. And two kids. And the real estate agent harassed us to be out in 2 weeks. (Right lady. Dream on. Thanks for your complete lack of help with that.) My landlord/friend was absolutely wonderful though, so she constantly sent us listings in the area and was supportive and helpful. In the end, after dragging the kids through countless rainstorms, many apartments, condos and townhouses, we found a wonderful little townhouse in our price range, with a washer and dryer, parking, and a POOL.  Yea. We win.

The week after we moved in we had about 50 of our friends and family over for the baby’s first birthday. It was a great celebration and despite oppressive and horrible heat, I think everyone had fun.

Then the step kids came to visit for a week. This is always challenging because I have no idea what I’m doing ever, which is made worse by the fact that I’m now caring for kids I see maybe twice a year and I lose my mind every singe time.

After that I took on the task of changing out my hard drive and fixing my busted up old computer. It went surprisingly well and I am typing to you from a fully functional (though still only held together by wires) laptop. I’m forever grateful for the assistance of the friends who helped me get it done.

Shortly thereafter we all came down with an awful stomach plague, which took me out for about a week. For the record, I’ll choose violent vomiting for 12 hours over a week of terrible stomach pain, dizziness and utter fatigue every time. This time, I lost.

That pretty much brings us current. Somewhere in there the baby went from crawling to running (it was instant, there was no breaking the parents in phase like the first time around) and I have new levels of crazy to contend with on a daily basis. Today I’m caring for additional children, as DDa acquired two imaginary friends over night.

I better go. There are loud noises behind me and I’m fairly certain it’s about to get ugly in here.

Type to you soon!